sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
