If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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