the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize