Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
