So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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