We're facebook friends in real life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
