So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
