You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
