If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
