Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
