I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
