So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
