Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
