he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize