dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
