she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
