Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
