i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
