I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is wine microwaveable?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
