oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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