ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
