so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
