she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
