Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have tasted many bathrooms
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
