Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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