He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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