I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
