I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Non-Jews are for practice
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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