Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
