I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
