I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize