if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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