I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
