I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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