its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Cover your peen. We're going out.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
