Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
