i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
