there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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