I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
