Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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