If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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