THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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