Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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