i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I died a long time ago.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
