Banned from zoo.
Again?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
