I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
