I don't usually arrange sex via text message
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize