So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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