i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My vagina is very pro this idea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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