he puts the penis in happiness.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Houston, we have a blender
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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