So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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