You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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