I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
