considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize