Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
