I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
