ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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