No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
